you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
