And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
