Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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