Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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