Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
