My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
