Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
