The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
