We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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