i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
