when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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