Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
