Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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