Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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