East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
