the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
