Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
