i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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