last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
