Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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