I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
