I cannot find my penis.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
