Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
