u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
