So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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