Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
