we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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