i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
