Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
