that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize