When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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