Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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