Where did you get a picture of my penis
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
