I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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