Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
