I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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