I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
