are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
