this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
