I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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