I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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