he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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