Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
