Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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