But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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