Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize