thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
