We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
