so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
