Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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