I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this will be a night to untag.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
