this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
