It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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