she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
