We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
