i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
