Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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