So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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