My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize