You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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